I can separate my life into 2 phases, the time when my mum was with me(Birth – 2004 17 July 2004) and the last 10 years when she is not. I still wish to talk to her, to call her, to complain to her, to ask questions but unfortunately, I can’t. She didn’t have to die then but something led to something and she died. Maybe she would have lived if I knew the things I know now. Just maybe! But God knows best and she’s better off where she is.

       ” Only the mountains stands forever,
         Only the rivers flow forever, 
         Only God and His word are eternal,
         A man is born to live for only a season”
   
    Mummy lived for a season, a short one. Her death marked the end of an era and it changed the lives of many of us FOREVER. Before she left, she taught me many things as the son of her youth, the very first fruit of her womb. Some things were too much for my small brain to comprehend, some got clearer when I grew up. She taught me to work hard, to make sure I earn every penny I will spend, to never settle for anything less than the best , to be alone and not be lonely and finally to love God. She did her very best to give us a good life. Even through grief, she still wore her reassuring smile.
       
           My mum didnt show her challenges on her face, she fought her battles alone, Maybe her silence even contributed to her demise. The only way I knew all was not well was through her midnight prayer sessions which I thought were becoming excessive. How naive I was! Teacher, Mother, Friend, Sister, Disciplinarian, Pharmacist, Nurse, Cook, Counsellor… She added ‘super’ to ‘mum’ I saw her cry, saw her laugh, saw her in pain, saw her happy and I saw her display courage. I remember like last weekend the saturday morning she eventually admitted defeat, the last time I saw her when she said ‘Ayodele, these legs are really aching’ She left much too young. We had lofty plans and high hopes, what we would have done if she didnt die! She even hoped against hope when hope was almost lost. In her aspirations are our inspirations…

     She will be remembered as a down to earth, loving and entirely genuine fellow. She had her challenges, lived with them and she faced them headlong but she still didn’t give up on God. Sometimes, I ask myself if I’m making her proud, if I’m truly becoming the kind of man she would have been proud of. My mum did her best, Ruth Olufunke Ibiyemi was an EXTRAORDINARY MUMMY.

P.S. Sorry this post is kind of disjointed, I just didn’t have the courage to draft, rewrite, edit and write something about someone I miss so much and spend much time on it. By the way, I’m not sad in any way. In fact, her remembrance brings me much joy. And I haven’t started using my blog but I thought I should tell the world how amazing she was since I won’t be able to show her off to the world anymore.

           …Hearing things more than beings,
              listening to the voice of fire,
              the voice of water.
              Hearing in wind the weeping bushes,
              sighs of our forefathers.
              The dead are never gone:
             they are in the shadows.
             The dead are not in earth:
             they’re in the rustling tree,
             the groaning wood,
             water that runs,
             water that sleeps,
             they’re in the hut, in the crowd,
             the dead are not dead.

            The dead are never gone,
            they’re in the breast of a woman,
            they’re in the crying child,
            in the flaming firebrand.
            The dead are not in earth:
            they’re in the dying fire,
            the weeping grasses,
            whimpering rocks,
            they’re in the forest,
            they’re in the house,
            the dead are not dead.

                               – From Birago Diop ‘Spirits’

image
Late Mrs Ruth Olufunke Ibiyem
Advertisements